Allowing myself

The process of creating this blog is an interesting one. Through the excitement and the joy of creating something totally new to me, I realise I also try to sabotage it, calling it a narcissistic act, putting myself down. Who do you think you are? I can hear.

It really requires from me to go deep inside myself and listen. Listen carefully. To the wise voice that has guided me so far. To the voice that wants to be heard.

Of course it is also required to listen to the undermining one, the negative and perverse voice that, so easily, tells me that I am not good enough, not worth it or not that interesting! I believe in the importance of acknowledging those voices, which creates instantly a distance, a detachment, knowing that old learning is often difficult to erase, but also believing in the power of detachment and self-awareness. The entrenched habit of self-loathing loses its grip; Detachment also, from the cultural heritage that I deeply value but that I also know that can work against me, like a burden, an unwanted commitment (surely there is something to write about this…). Loyal as a good Swiss guard in the Vatican! What an image.. those guards look so grotesque, from another era, rigid and uncomfortable!

I know that I am important. Not more than others. Not less. I allow myself to express and share what and who I am, what I am discovering or have discovered. I want to allow myself to be wild, to be crazy, as long as I respect what is the core need of this process… creating, exploring, flourishing!

Growing.

I am defining here what is important to me through this adventure. And allowing myself daring to leap into the unknown.

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