Baume au coeur

Have you read ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’? This book moved me profoundly..

It has helped me to initiate some reflection in myself about death, and helped me to approach it differently. I have, in the past, quietly been thinking about death but ferociously refused to talk about it. But since this book, I have been reflecting at loud, in the busyness of my mind, about death.

Being so far away from my parents makes death undiscussable. The irrepressible end that we will all meet is a difficult subject when it comes to my Mum and Dad, living on the other side of the world. And the idea of being an adventurer, a traveler looses its charm, when it comes to separation and death. It is like all the emotions and feelings related to my loved ones, to homey memories and deep attachments are raw, flayed alive. It makes any conversation about it extremely painful, unbearable.

Tuesdays with Morrie makes it bearable. It makes death a celebration of life. It made me feel ok to be fearful about loosing my parents and inspired me to celebrate them. I am reflecting on their life…and death for that matter, their values and what they have given me. I want to nurture this sense of gratitude, joy and pride about them, as I believe it will help me to face the ultimate separation.

I was chatting on the phone with my Mum this week… She was updating me about my Godfather, who has been recently transferred to a psychiatric hospital, for suspicion of suicidal thoughts and behaviour. My Godfather is 80 years of age, and has been a hard-working man all his life. His wife believes he may have had a stroke or a seizure almost a year ago now. He cannot talk anymore but is, somehow, still very conscious about his state. He wants to die. This was a very sad moment in our conversation with my Mum.

And then, she announced that she has just bought herself and Dad their ski-passes, not only for the season, but for the whole year… She also bought herself a new pair of ski-shoes and Dad is thinking of getting a new pair of skis or touring skis…not sure which ones yet!

Aren’t they just gorgeous, so into life, despite loss and grief?

I admire them.

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